Commentary: To all women, this letter is for you
Warning: this story discusses sexual violence, victim-blaming, and the emotional toll of trauma.
It makes me sad; it makes me mad. It shouldn’t be like this.
“Why didn’t you reach out for help? Why didn’t you scream? Why did you put yourself in that position? Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”
We shouldn’t be asking these questions. We just shouldn’t.
Hearing all the horrendous news about what is going on in the world makes me sink into so much pain. It shouldn’t be like this.
All I can think about is my future daughter, my future son. Do I really want them to live in a world like ours?
I sure don’t.
Silence. A dark room. Thoughts that make you feel powerless. The constant fear of reliving that night, of carrying its weight with you wherever you go.
I don’t want my future daughter to experience any of this. I refuse to.
I don’t want my future son to become someone else’s fear. I refuse to.
Media, politicians, authorities: what are we doing? Aren’t you listening?
Don’t get the story twisted. Stop trying to silence women and their stories.
Girls around the world constantly have to hear the words “I’m sorry this happened to you; you didn’t deserve it.”
Girls around the world are constantly being blamed for someone else’s actions: “You should’ve said something. You should’ve walked away sooner. You should’ve said no three more times. You shouldn’t have had so much to drink.”
Would it really have made any difference? Or are you just looking for more excuses not to believe her?
We live in a society where men and (sadly and disappointingly) women blame survivors for what happened to them.
It shouldn’t be this hard. Would it be the same if it were the other way around? What if men were the victims?
All a girl can do is ask herself the same questions over and over again: “When will it end? Would it make any difference if I say something? What if they choose not to believe me? It is my word against his.”
Educating ourselves is the only way we can protect the girl next door. The next target could be your sister, your childhood best friend, your girlfriend, or the shy girl who sits next to you in class.
It’s time to step up as a society and hold abusers accountable for their actions. Your future daughter could be next if we keep silencing women’s stories.
As women, we must not let each other down, because that’s when the rough path begins. Once the truth is out, there’s no turning back.
At the end of the tunnel, we are all that we have. We must stand up together.
To all women, this letter is for you. You are seen. You are heard. And I stand with you.
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